I took my first walk the other day since welcoming our child a few weeks ago. I tried to give myself grace, especially considering all that my body has been through in the past few weeks, but of course, I found myself falling back into the pattern of trying to figure out why my body just isn’t moving the way that it used to.
When I was growing up, I played multiple sports every season. I had an incredibly active childhood and even early adulthood. My body was in tiptop shape, my mind was sharp, and I only had myself to worry about.
As I’ve aged though, priorities in my life have changed and shifted over the years. “Moving” has also come to represent more than just the physical, but also psychological, social, and emotional aspects.
This is not the same body that I used to have years ago. Heck, my life in general is not the same as it was years ago. My body has experienced trauma, and my body has experienced growth and changes like I could never have imagined. My life has, too.
As I was on that walk, I thought about the path my feet have traveled. That path is not linear, but rather, it has been through low valleys, and it has been on the top of high peaks. It’s experienced twists, turns, and bumps in the road.
As I was pushing up a very slow climb on that recent walk, I realized how representative it was of all of the low points in my life, where I’ve had to push upward and onward, no matter how tired and out of breath I feel.
My body has experienced sicknesses, several pregnancies, two births, and many surgeries. I myself have experienced more than just changes with my physical being. I have adapted through career changes, relationship changes, immense personal growth, and the formation of my own little family.
I think about the challenges that I experience on a day-to-day basis, as a wife, as a mom, as a business owner, and as a woman. I recognize that my movements aren’t so seamless anymore – they can’t be. The movements now vary, and are purposeful, timid, quick, slow, easy, hard, and so many things all at once.
Though it’s been hard to accept anything but perfection before, without a doubt, I now recognize that I am truly moving, like never before.
-Jenn
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